Movie Theater Crowd Control (Minus Control)

We all know that Iron Man 3 just came out in theaters, and we all know what happens during opening weekends… HUGE crowds. I’m not usually one to go to see a movie the weekend it comes out, but I ventured out that Friday night… and what a mistake that was.

Not only are there mobs of people, most of whom are noisy teenagers, but the movie theaters, themselves, don’t even know what to do with the crowds. First, you stand in line, then, you get corralled outside of the actual theater and just wait around until the people from the previous showing leave.

Picture this: you’re standing amongst a giant crowd, much like a concert crowd (minus the mosh pit) and you look around you. What do you see? Teenagers screaming behind you, trying to start a group chant. Parents, looking miserable because their kids just wants to eat the Sour Patch Kids already. The couple that nauseates you because they won’t stop hugging. All the while, you’re still waiting.

When the people from the previous showing started to leave, everyone gets excited because we all think we can finally go into the theater… but no. I just want to go into the theater! Why is it taking so long? The lingerers. Yes, those people that have to stay for the scene after the credits. I have nothing against them, but I want to see my movie already and I’m pretty ready to punch some 17 year old kid…

Finally, after around 40 minutes of waiting, all the lingerers have left, the cleaning crew did their thing, and we can all stampede into the theater to try and get the best seats possible.

What did I learn from this experience?

  • I hate loud teenagers
  • I hate being in crowds with loud teenagers for long periods of time


  • NEVER go to a movie opening weekend

And I suggest you take heed of that last lesson…